Mar 23, 2007


Friday morning, staying at home, I wanted to sleep until 12pm to make up for last night saying up late until 4am. However, 8am I was woken up by the sunlight radiated to my eyes and the noise of all kinds of vehicles. Too lazy to get up!!!! 

The phone vibrated, 1 new message. 

Must be him. Exactly! 

Each time in the early morning, when I think of him, his message comes. Always caring and thoughtful, he wakes me up by very sweet words and endless long kisses. I have been keeping silent for so many days just to control my feeling, but today I decide to tell him all that I've been thinking about us. 

I know he will get angry and disappointed, maybe, but a bitter Truth is always better than the sweet Lies. I taste the bitterness of it, I would rather keep it for myself and send him the sweet taste! 

Messages come and go, it's like an argument and finally, the result is the argument comes to nothing. It might be the end this time when I couldn't see any ray of hope from it. Although being so sad, I still have to accept it and solace myself: maybe it will be better for both of us.

People said men fall in love easily, but take years to forget all the women who go through their lives. Once they love, they will remember each one of their girlfriends. Contrary to them, women are difficult to love, but they are easy to forget all the ex-boyfriends. However, the fact is so much different. How hard for me to forget a man who came into my life! If only I could forget him easily as what they said then now I must be very happy with another new boyfriend or other admirers (he always calls all the guys want to go after me are my admirers). 

Among of them, he is not too handsome, not really outstanding, but....my heart has chosen him. The feeling at the first time was so fragile and mild as a cool wind in the early morning blows to the face. I wanted to keep that feeling forever as my secret, but it's growing up with the flowing of time and overflowing out of the boundary that I've created. 

The way he looked at me, the way he smiled and the way he cared about me really can make a rigid-heart of a young girl like me melt out. Love has such a marvelous ability, it can heal the wounded-heart so fast that nothing else does, but when it goes, the injury left in heart can't also measured by anything.

He left! Perhaps it has been 4 months already. Not a short time of waiting, but I'm still patient to look at him from very far and encourage him each time he needs. To me, I understand that to love somebody doesn't mean I have to possess him, I should make him feel very free, happy and do whatever he wants to do. How difficult to do that because easier said than done, but if I was given a chance, I would try my best to make his smiles always on his face...

Everything became a memory, the time with him was really sweet like a dream, in which I never wanted to wake up. But dream will never come true and tomorrow, I still have to face with all stuff in my life. I have to stop dreaming now!

To the one...: IF I can be your tears, I want to live on your cheeks and die on your lips. But if you are my tears, I will never cry because I don't want to lose you in my life... Don't ever be afraid that I will forget you easily as what people said because you've ever come into my life.

Friday, 4.30pm.

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  1. Dear Teacher,

    Could you tell me the difference between "Happy" and "Blissful"?

    Problematic Student

  2. These two words are similar in meaning, i think. What are you trying to say, i can't get you. To me, happiness is very simple. I can have a nice ice-cream that i like when i feel thirsty. That's happiness.

  3. Jacky1:05 AM

    Who is that lucky guy Cin? :(:(. He is not handsome and not outstanding, so you luv him at which point? :(

  4. Anonymous1:38 AM

    wow...getting complicated now!
    handsome .....
    good looking .....
    he have right?

  5. Why he left you?

  6. How come ppl always forget to put your name in my blog? :(

    @Jacky: Few people stress on the words "not handsome"...aiyah...I compare him with actors and models, then he is not handsome, but to me he is handsome...Does my answer satisfy anonymous as well? Of course, when u love somebody, he/she will be the most handsome/beautiful in your eyes. And Jacky, Could i not tell you why i love him? This is confidential mah.
    One more thing i want to tell you, there are 2 ppl asked me whether you are my bf, i said he is not. Because of your so sweet words to me, that makes ppl misunderstand...Sweet thing is nice, but if too sweet....Maybe your future gf will like it, so don't waste it. ok? :) You're always my good friend.

  7. @Xtine: Until now, i haven't had any answer for it. So i don't know. Some psychologists said "Once man wants to break up, he might have feeling with other girl". So think that way...

  8. Aston Martin2:21 PM

    Well well well, like that other guys have no chance, do they? Life is really unfair, hix hix :'(. People have sumthing, they don't need it. Those who don't have, they wish to have it.

  9. What something do you mean, Aston?

  10. Aston Martin2:07 AM

    Sumthing here means your love, your heart. Some do not have ur heart, they wish to get it. And the person may have it, he seems doesn't want it...That's why i said life is unfair. That guy must be a very good one that can take your heart away. But what a pitty, he's just dropped a precious Diamond that he didn't know.

  11. X-tine9:52 AM

    Oh, left w/o reason. Let's find another one. He is not the only man in this world,c'mon!

  12. mr Romeo11:51 AM

    wow, that it real...
    but sometime when a guys left doesnt have to have another gal or women out there....
    there also have some other reasons? who's know?

  13. Wow so many comments. Who is Mr Romeo? First time in my blog? I love the Romeo and Juliet story, that's a really true love. Overcoming the conflict between 2 families, they still can protect their love.

    Anyway, Xtine, how come your text sounds like scolding me :( Ok ok, "young mummy", will find....

  14. @Aston: I'm not a diamond, just a small crystal only :D. I think each people will have "a half" of themselve. Only the half can fit you, that's your true diamond.Let's say, your gf doesn't love you means she is not your half part, then what for you keep her by your side? Can u get me?

  15. Mr Romeo...Ai ya, you are Romeo but you don't know Romeo's story ah? He can overcome the objection of his family to love Juliet. Now only few small reasons also can block you ah...Well i think if there is no third person in between of couple, everything will be easily handled. (Hix hix, i'm talking as if i'm a love expert :p )

  16. Xtine3:07 PM

    Not scolding, just care 'bout u. If men want 2 break up, they'll have so many reasons. You also know my story b4. He wanted to break-up w/ me and kept saying dat "I want to be good for u so i have to break up w/ you". What's da reason is dat??? Hiden reason?
    So you see. Just telling a lie, a good excuse to leave.
    How is your guy? Good or bad i don't know, why you never tell me. Have his picture to show me?

  17. I dont know, he didn't say, i didn't ask. Whatever! I can tell him that "I hope and will wait for u to come back to me" but i never say "Pleaseeee, come back to me, pleaseee love me again". I also don't have any pic of him to send you...I introduce you to him then you ask him his photo, hahaha.

    Your bf now is very good man, so much care 'bout you and love u...congrat!

  18. Jacky3:16 PM

    Ok ok, i won't give sweet words 2 u here anymore. But Cin, i'm also a guy so i understand wat he was thinking. Maybe u shud give him a bittle of time. I wish tat he can bring happiness to u.

  19. Answer to Cinderella:

    There is no answer for my question. I just do a test. A test for you. Did you find that when I ask what is "happiness" and "blissful", you have already started thinking something that is "Happy" and "Blissful". Better than telling you, "Cheer Up...", "Don't worry...", "Yon can do it...", "Be happy..." Someone told me that "Reality is what we focus." I just try to distract you from sadness. I hope my test is work.

  20. Wow Lizard, i got u. Thank! Your test worked effectively. I take ur sentence "reality is what we focus"

  21. @jacky: Thank for being understanding me!

  22. Jacky7:09 PM

    Just want and wish you always happy. Love can be the best, it also can be the worst. Depends on how you look at it. :) Be happy little girl!

  23. Aston2:12 PM

    Now you are really a Crystal :)