Mar 20, 2007
AM I OK?
Are you OK?
Yeah! Why do you ask me so?
Because you look different from last time.
How different? Look tired and down and having a lot of confidence
No, I'm OK. (Smile)
Conversation 2: Woa, are you lacking of sleep. How come so tired today?
Yes, I've been lacking of sleep these few days.
What did you do? Studying, working and thinking, etc... What did you think about?
A lot of things come to nothing (Smile)
Are you OK?
Yes, I'm OK. Thanks.
Two conversations from two different days, different people, but the content is the same. Do I look really OK as i thought? I don't know how do I look recently? Ugly, tired, terrible or how? Most of my students asked me "Crystal, you slim down a lot. What did you do? What did you eat?"
I didn't do anything and I even didn't think that I'm slimming down. But today I weighed myself, couldn't believe in my eyes, I think there must be something wrong with the scale: 42kg, never be too light like that before...
My friend said I'm being seriously stressed. Am I? There were a few times while I sat next to her, but she called my name three times, I couldn't hear anything to reply. My mind was very stubborn, it never follows me, always goes travelling somewhere else...
Then I think of one way to keep my mind busy always. Everyday, I'm trying to fill up my time with studying, dance teaching, working and running my small online business. No dating, no having fun. Sometimes, I feel life is really boring by repeating the same things over and over again. I've ever asked my friend to take a break and enjoy the life, hanging out with friends, when hen he said every day he works like mad... Now I understand why he has to do so. Each time before going out, I look at myself in the mirror, I think I'm still OK, still strong enough to handle all these things... But then none of my friends said " You look great!". Something is wrong with them or is something wrong with me???