Oct 20, 2009

Story written on Vietnamese Women's Day 20th Oct

She was born in a small poor village far away from the Hanoi capital in the years of 1950s. That was the time the war was going on fiercely everywhere in Vietnam. Her childhood was nothing besides taking care of another 1 younger brother and sister and running away from bombs and ammunition while her mom was caught and tortured barbarously by the enemy. But that couldn't stop the small girl to grow up and became one of the most beautiful ladies in that village. Many guys wanted to date her out but she didn't really feel for anyone except for the guy next village who always dressed up neatly and came to play with her brother. She then moved. They got married in 1978 without many dates. A year later, the husband had to join the army and left her alone with 4 months pregnancy. She carried herself and baby through all the hard time with monthly salary just around $20. There was the period that she ate boiled eggs and banana everyday not just for herself while hungry but also for the baby growing up in her body. She didn't complain even a single word about her carefree mother-in-law also to her mother. She stood on her own strength to deliver the first child without her husband asides. Two years later, her husband went back to share with her all the pains and heaviness of life. She then felt better because at least she wasn't alone even though her husband wasn't the type of caring and sweet men. She didn't wish for that, she just wanted him to stay with her, to share with her all difficulties. That's her happiness. They then had another daughter next 2 years. This time, life wasn't that bad. Her job seemed stable and got her good income. She became the main income source of her family as her husband happened to be retrenched. He volunteered to be house-husband to take care of the kids. But Luck didn't stay long with them. Due to some serious politic problems in her company, she was forced to retire early without any benefit. The whole family fell down as if from the sky to the ground and this forced an active woman like her had to stay at home and took care of her kids again for the husband went out to look for a job. He luckily got a job as long journey-bus driver from the North to the South. Each journey would take him a week to come back home. Sleeplessness, tiring, pressuring consistently plus lacking money for the family's spending, the husband became so easy to explode. He was hot-tempered before and now it was worse. He got angry with her every time from the smallest thing which did not get into his way or if she didn't obey him. Perhaps, it's because he was over-stressed and felt that he was the only one who earned for family and the wife did nothing. They were having a fight everytime he went back home til the 2 children were scared and hated their father so much. They thought "Mom did nothing wrong but Dad kept scolding her". Until the extend, she coudn't take it any longer. She decided to divorce, to release herself. Putting the divorce letter on the table, she asked the husband to sign on. They fought again and the husband insisted not to do so. She didn't care because it was not important to her anymore. It was enough for her. "From the day I gave birth our first son until today, we have had 2 children, I never get any care from your mom. What about yourself! Not even a single word to ask "What do you want? How do you feel? It's nothing besides cursing, beating and pressuring me. I cant take it anymore"- she said in tears. Her husband didn't say any word even though he wanted her to stay back, but his man ego prevented him doing so. She walked out but the moment she saw her 15 years old son and 11 years old daughter were kneeing down at the main door, crying so hard that they couldnt speak a proper word: "Mom, please don't go, don't leave us"....She coudn't control herself anymore. Hugging the two kids so tightly, she was just like them crying non-stop. And then, she took the luggage, went back the room again. At this moment, she knew that her heart was death. She just lived for the sake of her childrens. That's all! ......to be continue

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21st Oct: Updated part II:
Day by day, the two children also grew up. They seemed understand that something went wrong between Dad and Mon that's why they tried their best to behave well in front of Mom and Dad just to make sure that they wouldn't quarrel because of them. Mom became so quiet. She still took care of family well but they hardly saw a sweet and loving smile of Mom for Daddy anymore. But yet, she didn't complain anything. After the day she wrote a divorce letter, her husband seemed very shocked at her reaction even though he didn't speak it out. Perhaps he couldn't realized how much suffer his wife had to undergo, and how bad his temper was...He silently changed himself a bit but still owed her a "Sorry". After 5 years being a bus driver, the husband had a chance to change job as his friend recommended him to do a new business. But this business didn't go well as they expected. After it failed, the friend ran away to leave the couple with many debts, tons of steel and old machine which couldn't be sold out. It was all because of their inexperience, because of their eager to run away from poverty. They didn't study any business course before, didn't have chance to enroll university or college. The couple, then had to sell their own house to pay for the debt and rent out a small flat for 4 people to survive. Such a tough time ever for them! 5 years, 10 years later, those debts were still chasing after the small family. She has had a good job as sales manager in a international company after so many job changing. Her two kids now become adults. They graduated from good universities and had a good job. At least they could support their parents now. And surprisingly, the husband changed completely after having a good talk to her. She said softly and slowly: "Honey, we have to change. We can't fight and quarrel each other like last time. We are getting old and soon will have 3rd generation. Our children both are now mature enough. They will have boyfriend and girlfriend. We can't let them feel shame because of us in front of their boyfriend, girlfriend. You have to control your temper so everyone will be happy"...He couldn't say anything, but she knew his quietness means agreement. She knew that she has win! Nowadays, every times if having any problem, she will at least can talk to her daughter, her son. They understand her, they encourage and always support her. That's all she has. There was one time, her daughter asked: "Mom, why last time Daddy treated you very badly, you wanted to divorce him, but you didn't do it. How could you stand Daddy for so long. Nowadays, many young couples break up and I don't know why?" She just smiled and answered: "It's all because of you and your brother, because of Family, I couldn't break up with your Dad. You know your father is not romantic and caring type. For more than 30 years of being husband and wife, he never know how to take for me a glass of water when i'm tired, no flower, no birthday wish...but your father is the one who put family at first. He did everything for both of you and family. That's what i appreciated and that's why i still can stand him til now. At least, he is getting better and better now, becomes more calm and caring. That's too good for me though" The daughter looked at her for a while, she knew that her mom is happy. At least, all her effort, pain and sorrow are now paid off. Sometimes, they have family dinner in the weekend, the daughter always asks Daddy must hold Mommy's hand, Daddy must say sorry to Mom if he is wrong, Daddy must not scold Mom, must buy Mom's birthday present, etc....And that are more precious to her than anything else in this world!
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My story is ended here! I hope it is a happy ending as you guys wish. But just a moment! Are you guys gonna wait to know who is this Woman in the story? She is just one of millions Vietnamese woman definitely, a very typical traditional model of Vietnamese woman who live everything for family, scarify everything (youth, beauty) for family. That's the reason why
VIETNAM HAS 2 BIG DAYS CALLED "WOMEN'S DAY". It's on 8th March and 20th October every year? What they are doing during these 2 days:
1. Women cook and do housework everyday BUT on Women's day, it's men's duties. (not compulsory but any man who loves their wife enough will do so) 2. In office, Women will receive lot of flower, wishes from male colleagues, sometimes a company dinner which bosses foot the bill. 3. Women say Right means it's right. If it's not right, look back at the first statement. bla bla bla..... Some men might feel jealous and worry if on this day, the wife will control over him, but look! 365 DAYS IN A YEAR, THEY LIVE 363 DAYS FOR YOU AND THERE ARE ONLY 2 DAYS SHE LIVE FOR HERSELF. Does that sound fair to her? You gotta think back carefully and think again about how to treat your Mom, your wife, your gf better. Anyway, back to my story and the question given by my reader "Is Vietnamese Women's Day created because of this touching story". No, it's not! It has another history behind. This story is just written naturally on the occasion of Women's Day with all feelings from bottom of my heart to this Women whom I admire the most! She is HERE!
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
The beautiful smile of her after so many years has now come back!
After 30 years of being husband and wife, this is the first wedding photo ever they took. This is also an anniversary for their weeding. I don't know 30 years anniversary would called Silver or Gold Anniversary but to me, This is a Diamond Anniversary. ~The end~ :)

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4 comments

  1. Annie Devi10:00 AM

    waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....u make me cry...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ida.Asiaiknowledge10:01 AM

    OHHH CRYSTAL.. WHY YOU CUT THE STORY HALF WAY..

    is it real story? mmmmmmmm..i hope there will be a happy ending..

    xxx - Raikkonious.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hun... i knew it somehow the story is about yr family life... you are indeed a strong woman.. learnt well from yr beloved mother.
    Happy woman's day to you gal.. Am soo proud of you!!

    xxx - Raikkonious

    ReplyDelete
  4. Crystal Phuong2:15 PM

    Thank you honey for your support :)
    xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete